Grief and Bereavement

What is Grief?

Grief is a normal reaction to losing someone you love. Each person grieves differently and there is no timeline for how long it takes before the hurt of loss lessens.

Five Stages of Grief

The stages of grief are commonly understood through the framework established by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. While not everyone experiences grief in a linear fashion or through all these stages, the model provides a useful framework for understanding the emotional journey that many people go through when dealing with loss

Stage 01

Denial

When you first hear the diagnosis, you may deny its accuracy, continue to expect your loved one to get better, or convince yourself that the symptoms you’re seeing are false and have no finality.

This stage involves disbelief and shock. Individuals may have difficulty accepting the reality of the loss, often feeling numb or detached. Denial serves as a temporary defense mechanism that helps people cope with the immediate aftermath of loss.

Stage 02

Anger

You may be angry with the person or with the disease itself. You may easily become frustrated or feel abandoned and resentful. You may tend to blame other people, oneself and other circumstances that may be of a cause to the health condition or disease.

As the individual starts to recognize that the loss is real, feelings of frustration and helplessness can turn into anger. This anger may be directed at others, oneself, or even the person who has died. It can also be directed at the situation or at a higher power.

Stage 03

Guilt and Bargaining

If you are a caregiver, you may feel guilty about taking breaks. You may regret previous actions, or harbor negative thoughts about your loved one.

In this stage, individuals may try to make deals or bargains with themselves or a higher power in an attempt to reverse or lessen the impact of the loss. This often involves thoughts of “if only” or “what if” scenarios.

Stage 04

Depression or sadness

Caregivers may lose hope, withhold their emotions or even withdraw from social activities.

This stage involves deep sadness and despair as the individual comes to terms with the finality of the loss. It may include feelings of hopelessness, isolation, and overwhelming sorrow. Depression during grief can be particularly intense and may affect one’s ability to function.

Stage 05

Acceptance

This occurs when the patient’s loved ones ultimately acknowledge the diagnosis. During the acceptance phase, it’s possible you can find meaning in caring for their loved one. You can learn to enjoy the remaining time you have together and make every single day worthwhile and memorable.

Acceptance is about coming to terms with the reality of the loss. It doesn’t mean that one is “over” the grief or that they no longer feel pain, but rather that they have reached a point of peace and can start to move forward. Acceptance often involves adjusting to life without the loved one or integrating the loss into one’s life.